The Advocate's John Casey reflects on a decade of marriage equality in new book

When I began working on LOVE: The Heroic Stories of Marriage Equality, I didn’t fully realize that the book would become a time capsule, not just of a movement, but of heart, courage, and quiet revolution. I knew my co-author, queer creative Frankie Frankeny, and I were telling stories of people who had fought for the right to marry, but what I discovered along the way is that we were also capturing the essence of love at its most defiant and most tender.

This book, which comes out 10 years after marriage equality became law, was a labor of love in the truest sense. It was personal. It was emotional. It was urgent. I grew up when the idea of marriage equality felt like a distant dream, something reserved for “someday.” It was something queer people like me weren’t supposed to hope for, let alone expect.

Yet, here we were, documenting the lived experiences of couples, advocates, and unsung heroes who turned that dream into reality, law, and a promise that our love is valid and worthy of recognition.

As I listened to the accounts that shaped the book — tales of courtroom battles, late-night strategy sessions, and tears shed over rejections and victories alike — I realized these weren’t abstract political sagas. These were deeply human stories: parents who wanted to adopt children, spouses denied hospital visits, and partners who had loved each other through decades of stigma and sickness. This wasn’t about the symbolism. It was about survival.

I co-wrote this book to honor that survival. I wanted to give voice to those whose lives had been altered by the fight for marriage equality. It’s profoundly moving to hear someone say, “We just wanted to be treated like everyone else,” while knowing the cost of that desire.

I learned how powerful it is when people refuse to let love be legislated out of existence. I met individuals who had been fighting this battle since the ’70s, who had buried partners without legal rights, who had raised children in legal limbo. I also met young people who believed, with a clarity and confidence I could only admire, that equality wasn’t just possible, but inevitable.

That intergenerational thread and the passing of the baton from one set of hands to the next reminded me that progress is not guaranteed; it’s built, step by step, by people willing to speak up when it would be easier to stay quiet. It’s built by people who love deeply and fiercely enough to fight for the right to say, “This is my person,” and have the world recognize it.

LOVE isn’t just a collection of stories. It’s a testament. A reminder. A celebration. A rallying cry. It’s a way of saying thank you to those who came before, and a promise to those who come next. Regardless of what anyone says, your love matters, and it always has, and if we’re vigilant, it always will.

John Casey is a senior editor of The Advocate, where he writes opinion pieces and features. LOVE: The Heroic Stories of Marriage Equalityis now available at most major booksellers.